inspiration in the weirdest places

I think hangovers are an incredibly personal experience. You can’t blame it on anyone else, and it’s not like stomach flu where you get it, it’s obviously not your fault, and you’re just mad at the world for getting sick. Hangovers are your fault alone, and are completely predictable.

Last night I should have known. When I woke up in Mahri’s lap at 2am and everyone said we were walking home, I couldn’t focus on much and walking was such a pain in the ass. Waking up this morning at 7am, all I wanted to do was die. My head was screaming, my stomach wanted to turn inside out in my throat, and my liver was on strike. I immediately threw up (there was nothing there. Literally) and my body did that whole unnatural convulsion thing. It’s funny really, I find it hideous to watch Fear Factor or whatever and see someone’s body move in that unnatural shaking and jerking as it tries to expel anything out. If there’s nothing, there’s just a lot of spit and tears and jerking.

But I know my body better than it thinks it does, so I popped a few advil, got back into bed, and tried to sleep. By 10am, I’d thrown up again, not slept well (I was sweaty and freezing) and my head only got worse. I crawled into the kitchen and started making toast. After buttering, I walked towards the couch and they fell off the plate, butter side down on the floor - now I pride myself for my constant need to sweep, but hell no I ain’t eatin that. So I made some more toast, watched some Law and Order, and waited for the advil to kick in.

All day has been a waste. A self-enduced sickness that should really be treatable in my opinion. Everyone has their hangover cure, mine is to never get one in the first place by drinking energy drinks the night before. Alas, last night had no planning, and I found myself celebrating a birthday with champagne, socially having a beer or two, and then hitting the tequila upon arrival at the party. I had a great time last night - I was totally “Party Time Natalie” again and everyone was just enjoying each other’s company. I was happy. But it’s just no good. I deserve this. I should have known better.

I wish I hadn’t just wasted a day (and had to cancel on people) by being such an idiot last night. I was down already, but alcohol only makes me sadder. I’ve been trying to keep busy to distract myself, but today, a day that I’m completely incapacitated and imprisoned by my own body, it’s difficult to see the light at the end of my very long tunnel.

Le sigh. Le hangover LE SUCKS.