Conclusion: It wasn’t me, it was you. Really.

May 30, 2008

I’ve always questioned the “I was drunk” defense. At points in my life, I’ve probably used it, and sure, it lowers inhibitions. But while I was “making good choices” last night, I recall a completely lucid moment where I knew that I was capable of making a conscious decision. It was an out of body experience; I could see myself thinking and making decisions. There was no “I was drunk.” That was just not an option at that point. I question if it ever has been, or ever will be again.

Regardless of decisions made, last night was fun. I went to H’s for a night of Wii and cards with a bunch of dudes. Epic sausagefest – which anyone who knows me knows is my favorite – into the wee hours. Pebbles, the most adorable puppy EVER, and I were the only bitches in the house. Word.

After taking the bus home around 6am this morning and crawling back into bed after a bacon, egg and cheese from my favorite beacon hill coffee shop, I passed out until around 1, but was interrupted every few hours by a friendly phone calls; I would literally wake up to answer, talk, and then pass back out. After finally getting out of bed around 2, I got busy and worked more on packing. I think I’ve overpacked, but whatever. I always overpack, and I’m over it. Tomorrow, I’m sweeping, swiffering, dishes, final cleaning, etc. Then I’m going to a birthday party with H. Hopefully not staying too late… I have a train to catch the next morning… UGH.

I’m fascinated by my mind’s ability to adapt lately. I don’t know if it’s because of the end of a relationship or just that I’m in an extremely transitional point in my life that my mind is changing and my emotions react different than I expect. I’m not sure what I was trying to explain, but that’s what came out I guess.

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2 Responses to “Conclusion: It wasn’t me, it was you. Really.”

  1. tbkent said

    The fog will pass. Keep true to yourself, and it will pass much quicker.

    I relate to the “I was drunk” philosophy, and also think it was never real. There is lucidity in drunkenness, as I’ve been there many times. The phrase replaces “I just wanted to be carefree for a little while.”

  2. I’ve never been accepting of the “I was drunk” excuse, probably because I’m the son of an alcoholic/abusive father and I’ve seen the dark side of what being drunk can do to people.

    I dated this girl who constantly used the “I was drunk” excuse. Every time she would we’d get into an argument because I told her that I didn’t buy it. I still feel that it’s a cop out.

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