Smile. God Loves You.

June 24, 2008

That’s what a car said on it’s side as it drove by this morning. Flabbergasted, it struck me that maybe God did love me and that maybe I should smile.

Oh sweet lord. The drugs ARE working.

It was intriguing in that short second to think that
a) God loves me?
b) there is a God?
c) I’m hungry.

Sorry I’ve been MIA (galang galang) for so long… been VERY busy. Busier than you can imagine.

The weekend was great. Went to Boston. Kicked it at H’s house. Made some sweet happy fun times with Pebbles. Played with Evan. It was a hell of a weekend. Most of it was drunk, but that’s okay. Sometimes you need a weekend like that. This was that weekend for me. Props to the home team (in Boston) who kept me going. It was good to see you and have some good snuggles.

Sometimes I question motivation. Specifically my own. I don’t know sometimes what I’m doing and for what reason, but I blame a lot of it on instinct. I realize that’s sort of vague, but there’s not really a story behind it either, so tough cookies. I suppose I just make big plans for everything, and then it’s often a let down.

Also, why am I always labeled “the whore” in a group of people? Is it because I’m more sexually open? God, no. It couldn’t be. Somehow just all the sex jokes come back to me. Maybe it’s because everyone wants to have sex with me? Nope. Def not. I don’t know. It just occurred to me yesterday, especially since it’s with a completely different group of people (this was a common theme in Boston as well.) It’s odd. I don’t mind it so much I suppose, I just wonder what sort of vibe I’ve got that encourages that sort of… jokery?

At work. Been thinking a lot about working at Vice/VBS and what that actually means. After reading a lot of haterade on Gawker, I guess I somewhat question what I’m doing here. I see myself as much more of a “Gawker” person than I do a “Vice” person (I don’t dress nearly cool enough or smoke enough cigarettes.) I probably shouldn’t say that; Gawker and Vice have some sort of rivalry I don’t exactly understand. I like that the people here are a little more themselves (than at other internships I’ve had in the past) and most seem to look at this like it’s not so much of a job, just this cool warehouse loft they hang out in all day. I could see myself working here in the future, but I do question how exactly I’d be able to contribute. Sometimes I just feel terribly out of place here: flashback to Insomnia picking the “prettier” intern to go to Vegas. Ugh. No good.

This week, Natalie recommends listening to the Death Cab for Cutie album “Narrow Stairs” (if you haven’t been listening to it nonstop already) and Girl Talk’s “Feed the Animals.”

Have a nice day. Don’t forget to smile because Natalie loves you.

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