I hope you find someone your height so you can see eye-to-eye

There is something haunting me. I can’t figure out what it is yet, but when I do, best believe it’ll be short lived.

Have you ever walked around Boston at 5am? This morning was my second time. There’s something about the city that is inherently dangerous about this city – when alone after dark – but the early morning hours seem empty. It’s still dark, and the homeless have a few more hours of sleep before they wake up to knock on my door asking if I have “rooms available.”

I have reached a point in my writing where I feel as if I have wrung the towel as much as I can and I’m on the last drops. Maybe that’s what is haunting me – my inability to find where my creativity currently lies. I was thinking about that on my way home yesterday… I’m in such a creative place (physically, not mentally) and you’d think that it would rub off on me a little bit.
But I’ve given up, and I’m going through the motions until this chapter has ended and a new one, my New York chapter, begins.

I’m still stressing out about my future too far in advance. I need new distractions (besides my current vice) to keep me occupied. The current vice puts me to sleep by 9pm, and quite frankly, that makes me miss project runway so obviously things have to change.

I wanted to go to Peru on a wilderness/camping tour and write. I thought maybe that would inspire me. But I also have this sinking feeling that I’m going to be blocked there as much as I would anywhere. I would just be 14 days dirty (no showers) and tired from the 6-8 hour daily hikes. I love the idea of it and being back out in nature; this urban playground is starting to get the best of me. I just don’t know if it’s in the cards for now.

I’m too young to write a memoir.

I hope you finally find someone
Someone that you trust
And give him everything
I hope you meet someone your height
So you can see eye-to-eye
With someone as small as you