curl up inside the curves of your laugh.

June 22, 2009

I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.

I’m catching myself fall into old habits, and while I know that this post starts like any other, I can honestly say this one is different… because I know exactly why I’m doing it.

I spoke to (what I thought was) a long lost friend last night for about an hour. It’s probably the longest I’ve ever talked to JUST him (used to spend most of our time together in a group due to convenience… but I still adored him) He had recently broken up with his girlfriend of 4 or so years, and was kind of going through a personal crisis… while I can’t relate to 4 years worth of relationship, I CAN relate to having to get your life back after losing a substantial part of it. You’re so connected to that person that everything in your world is attached to him. My friend was surprisingly strong, and I could hear hope in his voice that things would get better; It was kind of inspiring. I think that I am really proud of him to a certain extent for exiting out of a relationship that was hurting him. Everything he described hit really close to home – I was catching myself saying “I understand better than you know” after like every statement he made. Broken record style. And I wasn’t necessarily talking about my ex, who happens to be his best friend. Well now I’ve gone and outed who it is to a lot of people, but I can confidently say that I have every faith in this friend that he will do well. It was nice to get some time to speak to him (he was much more open with me than I honestly expected) and he’s definitely still on my mind.

I once had a drama teacher who told me that drama is linear and comedy goes in curves. While this originally had nothing to do with the title of this post, it occurred to me that it is completely relevant to this situation.

Now take a minute an examine this graph.

This is how my life works. This is how my relationships work. Here is how my brain functions.

Is this all a bit clearer now?

I could map almost every single one of my relationships like this.
And this is how I WISH I could map it:

See now that was a little bit of a joke… I’ve got a sense of humor sometimes.

Or just like the circle theory, I started out this post on somewhat of a somber, sobering note, and now I’m just running in circles with this bullshit.

But what I meant by the title was actual sound. Actual waves. Actual comfort.

(Is it almost July already?)


One Response to “curl up inside the curves of your laugh.”

  1. kim said

    That’s a lot of heart. Are you sure you want this many relationships in life? Well, I shouldn’t say that, because friendship, companionship, and family still count, right? 🙂

    PS agree with Hummus Place. That’s why I haven’t been back for a long time. I know I would just balloon if I go there on a weekly basis. 😛

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