July 13, 2009

I’m one that tends to overshare in some realms of my life. My sexual history is often an open book (I like to look back and laugh, OKAY? It makes me feel better about it) and for the most part, everything except my email password is out there somewhere…

I emailed this story to my mother last week about how I had been somewhat “robbed” by my esthetician (I mean, just saying that kind of keys you in to what happened…) and she immediately let me know that I shouldn’t write about it on my blog.

But I oh-so wanted to. It’s like this: if I can laugh about it, I’m going to write about it. This was one of those cases – while I don’t mind the result, at the time I was certainly flabbergasted by the experience. Those that have me talk their ears off know that lately I have developed quite an addiction to waxing (so much faster. so much easier. so much less dangerous.) so writing about it on my blog isn’t, you know, new news.

In the realm of overshare, there’s not a lot I won’t say, but an acquaintance’s twitter caught me really off guard this morning in terms of what should be shared on the internet.
“Getting a serious dose of birth control today.” it read. Okay, well at first read, that’s a bit much. My assumption now is that this was meant to be funny (like “I’m spending my entire day with a group of children! Talk about birth control!”) but getting JUST that, is dangerous, and it is one thing I will probably never post.

So what’s appropriate? Where’s the line? WHAT DO I DO?!

Well, as the resident open book, I have a few simple rules that I follow:
1. Don’t write about anything illegal. I don’t care if you’re underage drinking or doing lines of coke off of a hooker’s ass, just don’t write about it if you don’t want the whole world to know.
2. Don’t write about budding romantic interests or relationship problems. If there’s one way to fuck up something new, it’s by writing about it too soon. Sure, you’re seriously dating or in a relationship, mentioning that person is bound to happen. The last thing you want to do is talk shit about your date and leave the potential for them to find it. I guess only do it if you want a really immature way to burn a bridge. A REALLY immature way to squash that ish…
3. Don’t talk shit about anyone. If you’re going to talk shit, use a pseudonym. And if you’re going to talk shit, it shouldn’t be some rampage, at least make it interesting to someone else out there. If I’m going to talk about what an a-hole that landlord dude was to my unnamed friend, I’m going to make it funny, and I’m going to let him have it. Or let his fake name have it. You know. Related: the last thing you want to do is start gossip. If it can be traced back to you, you’re an idiot and you deserve to be shot on site. Talking about someone elses’ business is just bad form. Deal with your own shit, then maybe you can take on other people’s problems.
4. Don’t write about work. I occasionally break this rule a little bit (I believe the origins of this blog actually began with a little site I started called “Le Interner” where I wrote about my first experiences in internships and how unbelievably shitty it was. I did, however, make it under a fake name, used pseudonyms for my coworkers, and changed the locations/any other details I could fudge.) I also sometimes mention my job now, usually in passing. Twitter, sure, I mention it a bit more, but if your coworkers were as nice and cool as mine were, you’d probably write about them too.

and last but not least:
5. Do not write anything you couldn’t say out loud. If I say that mushrooms are the worst food in the entire world, I better be fucking ready to defend that statement at a moment’s notice. I’d never write anything I couldn’t say or discuss out loud… God, I can’t even write the things I wouldn’t ever talk about out loud, that’s how horrible they are. Just know that there are off limit topics, and while I could discuss them with the right people, I’m not about to address them on a public forum.

So there you have it. These are my rules, and for the most part, I stick to them. Occasionally I slip up, but from these moments, I certainly learn my lesson… which is how I came up with these guidelines in the first place.

Sharing is caring. But don’t overshare… that’s just rude.


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