Fake Husbands

January 28, 2010

Something I’ve noticed recently is the prevalence of fake husbands. You know, those guys you simply adore and one of you drops the “if we’re still single by the time we’re 50, let’s get married…” Fake husbands. Fake love. Fakey McFakerson.

I’ve had that conversation with many a boy. I’ve had conversations that even went as far as “When we have babies, they’re going to be overly-emotional, creative gingers.” We’ve set up a fake future for ourselves. Is this the modern version of playing house?

Maybe that’s what we’re all doing in our little cubicle apartments… we’re playing house. We are simulating what is expected of us, and one day, our fake husbands will whisk us away into marital bliss. What happiness it would provide… what security.

I’ve been fake married and fake divorced several times. In fact, I think I’m going through a divorce right now; a man who has been in and out of my life since this summer (whom I had a brief fling with) seems to have moved on… forgotten our little arrangement that would one day bring us joy and happiness and fake family dinners and fake morgages. I miss him a bit… I’m not sure if he is completely aware. He seems to be in a really similar place to where I am in my life… we were both let go by someone we cared about deeply, and now we are rushing to have that taste back in our mouths. How idyllic that we paired up for that week or two… that in that brief second we found ourselves back in that happiness and security you achieve when you really care about someone… I’m beginning to wonder if fake husbands are really just a stab at finding security, or a sign that someone might be capable of loving you the way you deserve to be loved.

That’s all we want, right? To love, and to be loved?

If only it were that simple.

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