Stupid, Natalie. Part Deux.

January 3, 2011

I’m just going to preface this post by saying I’m about to talk mad shit about someone and they deserve it. Yes, you. You deserve this verbal beating. And since I gave you the short version of this already, I’ve decided to make it perfectly clear to the rest of the world why you disgust me so that if I ever mention your name again they will beat me senseless.

This person did not make the most interesting dates of 2010 list. Oddly enough, they made the most interesting dates of 2009. I dated this guy awhile back… like AWHILE back. Almost immediately after things decrescendoed, he started dating this other chick and they must have fallen madly in love or some shit cause the next thing I knew they were taking vacations together, facebook relationship statuses were updated, and I was feeling like an idiot. We left things on amicable terms, but anyone who knows me knows I am no good post-relationship/dating/whatever and it is in the person’s best interest to steer clear or me and to definitely keep any current girlfriends out of my roundhouse kick range.

And here’s where I lost faith in man:

What seemed like DECADES later, I started getting those late night texts that you don’t admit you actually received but you totally did about dirty dirty things that nobody wants to discuss. Well this started to happen, and I responded accordingly cause because I’m a pervert, a masochist, and was still carrying some sort of gasoline fueled torch somewhere inside my stunted brain. Well I responded, and it escalated. It then became invitations to “hang out” and “come over” and yadda yadda you know how this goes. My response, oddly enough, was “what about the girlfriend?” and the awkward answers included “we’re fighting” and things of that nature. It would escalate to the point of “COME OVER NOW” and I would say “no” because if there’s anyone who knows how much it sucks to get cheated on or know what its like to know there’s someone on the side, it’s me. I don’t really want to get into the details of that, but I’ve been hurt by several people on that agenda, and I certainly don’t EVER want to consciously be that girl on the side. It’s no bueno, and quite frankly, my strict moral code does not allow it.

Well more recently a conversation was started where things got…. mleh, you know, and for some reason, after all this dirty hootenany, I say “Hey, I heard you were moving? Whats the deal?”
Without any sort of hesitation or confusion, he said “We’re moving in together.”

If you are “fighting” and you are trying to see some chick on the side, why would you ever move in together? Moving in together will not improve anything, including your chances of getting laid, so I’m not entirely sure what that’s all about. I’ve decided that if I ever run into this guy again (yes, you) that I will break my rule of not kicking people in the balls just for him. Because he kind of deserves it. Hard.

I guess the moral of this story is I need to get over this sort of shit, and dudes need to get their shit together and quit being sheisty. I’m sure if his girlfriend was aware of any of this she would be devastated. (Well, maybe not. If they’re fighting, for all I know she’s got someone on the side too.) But if it were me, and I found out, I’d be devastated. And I’m not about to be the catalyst for someone else’s toxic relationship. I’ve seen it happen (and quite frankly I’ve had it happen) enough times that I don’t even want to be around it. I am very serious about kicking this guy in the balls if I see him. If I ever meet the girlfriend (I am crossing my fingers for never having that happen), I don’t think I could look her in the eye; I’m not a good liar.

With all this crap, I’m bound to run into them on the street soon. I’ve got that sort of luck with people I don’t want to see. I’ve learned my lesson with this one (again) and my new years resolution is to put dead relationships to bed and to foster the ones that still have a chance of being something meaningful… not necessarily just the ones that have romantic undertones (wouldn’t that be nice) but the friends I’ve got in the city that I never get to see or just don’t see for one reason or another.

My insides are lusting for something concrete though. Finally something real. The little strings that pull on the seams of my heart already have a name inscribed on them, but thats a far off distant dream… every time I see that kind of take a realistic form, something snaps and it starts all over again. I kind of just want someone to come in and make me feel like my heart can beat on it’s own and I can trust and love someone again… it’s been a really long time since I’ve felt that and been able to let those walls down. Dating has hardened me quite a bit to getting too emotionally invested, and after almost 3 years of being SERIOUSLY single, I’m getting the itch.

In happier news, I’m going to Le Bernadin on Friday so suck it.


2 Responses to “Stupid, Natalie. Part Deux.”

  1. Melissa said

    you should message her and tell her about his texts. I’ve always wanted to do that.

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