February 8, 2011

These days I’m exhibiting peculiar behavior and wondering where it all went wrong. What I did. Where I fucked up. I’m being told it’s not me… that this is life. It’s how it works. That maybe I’m not doing something wrong (I’m passing immense amounts of judgment on myself) but I question is it really outside of me… is everyone else doing something wrong? Or am I passing judgement for not taking responsibility.

This is all very cryptic and weird and shallow and lame and nobody wants to hear about it anyway.

I’ve taken up bad habits again… bad habits to squash the old bad habits. Habits upon habits upon habits. I feel like I’m an old building where you peel off the wall paper and there’s six layers below. Or one of those signs on subway station walls where someone has torn off part of an ad to reveal layers of pasted images below. Just strips and layers and mess. Habits. Habits a plenty. Barf barf barf barf blah.

It goes pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow
Advantages. Advantages.

Gonna go curl up inside a shoe and wait for tomorrow.


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