everything is nothing, and nothing is ours

February 27, 2011

it’s a series of teenie tiny little bits of happiness. little puzzle pieces that fit perfectly instead of having to try the same pieces over and over because it looks right. things fall into place – they do.

a man approaches a woman and kisses her. she can do nothing but think of the problems, the worries, the mistakes that can be made by the two of them being together. she expresses her concern and he kisses her again. end scene.

this lively roller coaster we appear to be unintentionally strapped into has how locked us into place and we are along for the ride. i am screaming – nonstop – as the lack of control over my own destiny terrifies me. you love it. you throw your hands in the air and yell wildly because you love the rush and you’re not thinking about the future. you’re thinking about how in this moment you’re being whipped around, your torso flying wild like one of those inflatable wobbly armed men. im gripping the bar for dear life.

theres something inexplicable about all of this. something effortless and pure. we made our mistakes and licked our wounds and waited for them to scab. we pick at them as if they were the edges of envelopes until the paper gives way and tears to the crease.

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